Saturday, November 25, 2006

My Grandmother's Dying

soon, but not soon enough.

granddaughter, you say,

death does not come soon enough.

our only chance to approximate closeness

greets us in the final days of your life.

did you tell me your truth of our family

so that you may live

in my knowing how

it pained and pleased you?

does part of me die with you

in revealing how

it has pained and pleased me?

soon, but not soon enough.

there is a shadowed passion there,

a deeper vision.

soon, but not soon enough.

you would deny any spiritual nature,

but i wonder,

bringing my own needs about faith

to this singular moment.

listen: soon, but not soon enough.

familiar: soon, but not soon enough.

rhythm: soon, but not soon enough.

blood of your blood: soon, but not soon enough.

it is an ironic fit:

in these moments i feel closest to you,

i know most keenly

the distance between us.

i will miss you in your infinite absence.

(cc) Karen G. Johnston

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